What's Your Possible?

Shifting Perspectives, One Moment At A Time.

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Chrystal M., Title

09/04/2020

I have been going through a difficult time, lately. I have unresolved childhood trauma, recent and reoccurring abusive relationships, and then the kicker… I’m a single mom and so close with my only daughter. She is 20. After my last relationship ended, my daughter also up and left my house. When she left, she quit speaking to me. We didn’t have a fight or a blow out, so I was extremely hurt, worried, and concerned. I didn’t know if she was safe, with a guy who was manipulating her, or what.

Throughout all of this, I have found myself at my lowest ever. Initially when she left, I thought my purpose here on Earth had been fulfilled. I had raised my daughter, so well in fact that she didn’t need me anymore, and I had been a stepping stone for men to use and abuse. They always leave me with more than what they had when they came. Even though eventually they lose it all due to addiction or whatever other issues they have.

This made me turn to God in a way I never had before. I started to weed out people in my life and on social media who don’t have my best interest at heart, or who are not in a place of honesty in their lives. When I began doing that, it made room for good, loving people to start coming in to my life.

It was during this time, and on a night that I was crying hysterically alone on my couch-tired. Tired of being alone, and worried to death about my daughter that Tabitha reached out to me. We talked for hours. She made me realize a lot that night. She let me vent, in a safe way without being judged. I realized that I am not alone, that I have touched the lives of people in ways I’ll never know along my journey, that I have made a difference, and that I need to put forth the action of actually trusting God (I believe in Him, you can replace this with higher power. Etc) and going with the flow of life in a loving and positive way. By her listening to me, and us sharing what we do, it made me redirect my focus to helping and loving myself and others. I began really and truly trusting that God was working in me and my daughter while we were apart.

My daughter contacted me shortly after Tab and I spoke. When we reunited there wasn’t a single awkward moment. We talked. We listened. We hugged. We connected differently than we ever had before. On a level where we both respected the other one for our individualism, and strength.

I have a long way to go, but I’m on the right path. A path of ugly truths, crying, guilt, praying, getting real, and trying to think from more of a healing, soft, place of nurturing, light, and love. Tabitha has always been special to me and had a special place in my heart. After our conversation, I understand why.

 

Chrystal McEntee

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